Best...SNL Sketch...EVER.

Jon Stewart is funny! (Emergency mini-issue)

Cindy McCain's outfit may be worth $300,000.00, but this is just priceless.

VIDEO SMORGASBOARD! (Fall Issue)

In this captivating issue of Burnsblahg, you will see yahoos doing their best to jam out playing Rock Band, a CRAZY Arizona thunderstorm where the lightning and thunder were constant for two hours, a man playing two trumpets at the same time, a musical tribute to a baseball-loving 100-year old, and Zane takin' it to the streets. You know, everything you expected to see.

SUMMER VACATION!

Has it really been over three months since I last posted? Sheeeesh. Well, first of all, to those of you who have been on the edges of your seats waiting for the newest post, I apologize for my severe case of Blog Lag. I'm sure there have been dozens, if not hundreds of you. Much has happened in the past couple of months, too. Zaner had his naming ceremony and turned 1, Christine and Weston got married and had one whopper of a party...good times.

Anyway, we're back and wanted to give you a rundown on our recent trip to the Pacific Northwest. I don't know if Canadians call it the Pacific Southwest, but we were up there as well to see Grandpa George, Grandma Carell, Uncle Jim and the rest of the gang. It was a whirlwind trip, but we never felt rushed, as we had it all well planned, the weather cooperated and it was one heck of a good time. We flew out of Phoenix on Friday, June 27th at 8pm, in hopes the kids would be tuckered out and we could maximize our time. Well, the youngsters were PRETTY good on the plane. One-year-olds, it turns out, are not great at keeping their seatbacks and tray tables in their locked and upright position.

DAY 1: Portland, Oregon

We woke up bright and early to a warm, clear day and headed immediately from our airport digs to the Downtown Embassy Suites. The room was ready, so we checked right in and began our day. Kate was keen on seeing the Portland Saturday Market, and it was right around the corner from the hotel, so off we went. There were all sorts of things in this market: food, clothes, music, you name it. Also, lots of uhhh...tie-dye and whatnot, if you catch my drift. You would often see "Keep Portland Weird" shirts and stickers, and let me tell ya, they ain't kidding. Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. If often wish Phoenix was a little weirder, but whatever. No, this is NOT the real Jimi Hendrix, or I would have had him sign something instead of walking the opposite direction. It is, however, the real Barry and Zane.

We then headed over to the Deschutes Brewery for lunch and walked around the Pearl District of Downtown Portland, the supposed "up and coming" area for all the hipsters. An afternoon of swimming and some insanely great Thai food led us to an 8pm bedtime (!) where all of us (yes, ALL of us) slept for twelve straight hours. Elliot actually slept thirteen! Gotta love hotel curtains.

Day 2: Oregon Coast

Embassy Suites has the best "breakfast included". Country Inn & Suites? Nah. Silver Cloud Hotels? Absolute Chaos. The Embassy is where it's at, baby. So we filled our stomachs and jumped in the RAV for another day of adventure. Heading west on Highway 26 out of Portland. Destination, Cannon Beach. In Portland it had been another sunny day, but as we neared the coast, gorging ourselves as we were on freshly picked Oregon cherries, it began to cool and a few clouds rolled in. The sea air just does something to a person, and we were excited for our first peek at the ocean.

Elliot LOVED the beach. The water was cold, but the air was warm, and it was a pretty awesome sight. While Cannon Beach was busy, the "town" seemed pretty quiet, not too commercial. Commercial, my friends, was saved for Seaside, Oregon. We'll get there next.

After an hour or so in Cannon Beach, up we went to Seaside. It's only fifteen miles, or thereabouts, but it's a whole different animal. If Cannon Beach is Carmel-like, Seaside is Mission Beach and Coney Island wrapped up into one, complete with the funnel cakes, bumper cars, you name it. It was fun, and we had lunch on the beach. The sun had decided to come back out, and it was nice and warm. Ice cream put the capper on our Seaside experience.

Next stop, Astoria. Astoria, Oregon is this cool town at the far Northwest corner of Oregon where the Pacific meets the Columbia River. Oh, and it's where Kindergarten Cop and Goonies was filmed. Goonies is one of Kate's all-time fave flicks so it meant that much more to be there. We didn't see the "Goonies House", but Kate fell in love with the place all the same. We heard it described as the San Francisco of Oregon, whatever that's supposed to mean. There are lots and lots of turn of the century Victorian homes sitting on the hillside, and the view is as good as it gets. We went to the top of Coxscomb Hill where the Astoria column is located. The sides of the Astoria Column depict the westward trek of Lewis & Clark, and being on the perch that it is, affords an incredible view of the area, including the bridge heading up to Washington, the Oregon countryside and the town sitting on the Columbia River. It was pretty cool. It was a little windy up there, not quite as windy as it sounds.

As the day wound down, we knew we wanted to get on the road, so we headed east along the Columbia to Longview, Washington, where we crossed and met up with I-5. We drove north past Mount St. Helens (couldn't see it) and ended up stopping in Olympia for the night. Mommy and Daddy had beer.

Day 3: En Route to B.C.!

Best Western's "breakfast included" is nothing to write home about. Blog maybe, but definitely not write home. It's all about the Embassy. Anyway, into the RAV we piled again, and jumped on the I-5 North. Another perfect day found us cruising through Seattle headed for Bellingham. The whippersnappers were none too amused by riding in cars anymore, however, so a two hour layover in Mount Vernon had us find some lunch and a park to blow off some steam. It was pretty darn nice there, too. The "blowing off of steam" worked, and it was "Canada or Bust, eh?". Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Around 5:00, after a 45 second stop at the notorious Abbotsford-Sumas crossing, we pulled into Grandpa and Grandma's driveway. A glorious evening, the always meticulously maintained backyard was ready with Slip 'n' Slide and Elliot went to work with cousins Emilio and Solana. Clothes were off! Of the kids, that is. Meanwhile, George and Barry were on the first of what would be several trips to get beer. Did I mention the beer? Anyway...we hung out and grilled some burgers.

Day 4: Canada Day (Literally!)

Yet ANOTHER perfect day (we are in the Land of Rain, are we not?) ushered in Canada, where everyone except us was dressed in red & white with some sort of maple leaf somewhere on their person. The four of us and well as Sandy, Emilio and Solana set out for the Pitt Meadows Park where festivities were being held. We saw skydivers on the way and were soon at the park, where there were speakers talking about the holiday, as well as crafts for the kids and a giant inflatable pirate ship that the kids took advantage of. We then headed over to another park where there were water toys for the youngsters. They pretty much steered clear of those, though. It wasn't quite THAT hot. Uncle Jim got them popsicles, though, and that made him very popular.

The afternoon brought Gary, Joanne and the four boys out for the big barbecue. The Slip 'n' Slide was still in full effect (even by George, by George!) as was the bocce set and the croquet set. George and Carell used the time alone in the house during the day to make some awesome ribs, chicken wings, salads, etc...Delicious! It was also very important to Carell that we use this opportunity to get a photo of the seventeen of us. Zane was a little tired at this point.

Day 5: MORE CANADA!

We took this day to go out and do some sightseeing with Jim as our tour guide. First we went to Deep Cove, which is a little community in North Vancouver. Very quaint, with a nice little main street with some shops and restaurants. We walked the beach and the nice little park that was adjacent, while we watched the sailboats and kayakers and took in the incredible views.

We then headed south several miles to Lonsdale Quay, which is a public market on the water directly across the bay from downtown Vancouver. It was bustling, with all kinds of shops and restaurants. We had some chowder and a couple of pints here, then headed back out to Pitt Meadows to relax and play some cards. Poor, dumb Carell (**Inside Card-playing joke: Carell is neither poor nor dumb**).

Day 6: RAIN!

RAIN! George, just what in the hell are you trying to pull here? You guaranteed us several straight days of sunshine! Hmmm...well, what are we to do? Go to this place over at the mall, you say? "Jungle Jac's", you say? Well, we'll give it a shot. Sure enough, in what was somehow one of the highlights of an already incredible vacation, four straight hours of indoor mall playground ran Elliot, Emilio and Solana positively ragged. Climbing, sliding, jumping, throwing balls, this place was awesome! George even got into it again, as did Dad and Mom. Despite having to contort myself like a pretzel several times, I escaped relatively unscathed. Kate, George and I snuck away to get a donair while Grandma monitored the rugrats. A donair happens to be something I look forward to every trip up to B.C. It's a pocket of pita bread, stuffed with your choice of meats or a combo, with garlic sauce, tsatziki, cukes, tomatoes, and it is some GOOD eatin'. If there's something like it down here, I haven't yet found it, and it's not for a lack of trying. Don't worry Haji Baba, your chicken shwarma still holds a special place in my heart.

We closed our last night in Pitt Meadows with some awesome fish and chips from Austin's, washed down with some of those ubiquitous beers. Followed up with a couple more hours of 31, and it was a nice, mellow way to end the Canada portion of the trip. Poor, dumb...oh, never mind.

Day 7: Back to the States on the 4th of July!

More sunshine for our trip back to Seattle, where we were to leave the following afternoon. We said our goodbyes and gave our hugs, then off we went. Back to the notorious Sumas-Abbotsford crossing, where we waited, well, we didn't wait at all. I think it was because of the pleasant "Happy 4th of July" I said to the Customs agent, but it may just have been because we were the only car there. Back through the Nooksack Valley and Bellingham and soon the Space Needle was in our sights.

We checked into the Lake Union Silver Cloud and ordered a shuttle downtown to the public market. Being the 4th of July, it was HOPPING down there. Lots more cool stuff, people watching, etc... Kate got in touch with her good friend Jed who we were planning to meet. He said he had arranged a Duck Tour for us all. Duck Tour, eh? Would those be those bulky looking bus-boat contraptions I saw on the way down here? Those were the ones. So we headed over to the Space Needle, where Elliot rode a few rides in the Fun Forest, and we just generally milled about until it was time to head to the Duck terminal (?), which was right around the corner and where we would meet Jed.

Let me tell ya, the Duck Tour was yet ANOTHER highlight of the trip. Our wacky leader, Captain HOO-Rah, or some such thing, led us in song as we plied the streets of Seattle, pointing out interesting locations, yelling "cha-ching" every time we sighted a Starbucks, yelling at the top of our lungs when we saw a rival Duck, and just having one hell of a time. And THEN, down we went ("Why are we going in the water, Mommy?) into the water, where we then toured some sights of Seattle from what was now a boat. We even saw The Wizard from Deadliest Catch! Pretty cool. Zane was the most animated we have EVER seen him during this tour, right down to a killer Y-M-C-A routine. I'm not sure if that makes me nervous or not.

We had a nice dinner with Jed and his friends Clint and Brooke (also visiting from Phoenix and on the Duck Tour as well) and then parted ways. Part of the group had to do the kind of partying you do without kids, the rest of us needed to get to some fireworks!

Our hotel room looked out over Lake Union, with views of the firworks barge AND the Space Needle. We decided we needed to get closer, though, so we packed a couple of beers and went across the street to the marina. There we waited as the sun went down and the Elliott Bay fireworks display lit up the sky to the south. By design, as soon as those ended the fireworks at Lake Union started up, and they were great. Ushered in by a Chinook helicopter hauling a giant American flag, the sky was soon alive with pyrotechnics, and what a display it was. A fitting finale to a festive trip spanning two countries.

The final morning was sunny and warm yet again, and we lazily got our things together as we gazed out over the lake, reminiscing about the trip. We had a light but incredible seafood chowder lunch at Duke's and then headed to Sea-Tac for the trip home. A smooth flight got us home on Saturday the 5th right on schedule. What a trip. Thanks for reading. Maybe I won't wait another three-plus months to post again.

To see ALL of the pics from the trip, go to: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1AbNWTFq5YsWIm&emid=sharview&linkid=link2

Talk to you soon!

Barry, Kate, Elliot and Zane

Nothing new to report. Just messing around!

Well, like I said...nothing much going on in Chandler. We have been lucky enough to have near perfect weather the past couple of weeks. That's allowed us to spend many afternoons out in front of the house lately, drawing with chalk on the driveway, riding the Plasmacar around, just in general enjoying the outdoors. We have to take advantage of it while we can, since the scorching days are right around the corner.

Easter was fun. We spent it at Deb and Ted's house, where we had a wonderful meal with contributions from everyone. Delicious! AND we got to watch the NCAA tourney. What a combination. A Burns Easter if I ever saw one.

Anway, like I said, not a lot to report. I am now experimenting with embedding videos off of Youtube, so hopefully you've just watched or are about to watch one of Elliot and one of Zane. If not, that probably means I haven't figured it out yet.

Have a good one and check back soon!

Elliot's the Big 3!

Our little 11 pound baby just turned 3 on Saturday! It seems like only yesterday that Kate woke me up to very calmly tell me "I think it's time to go to the hospital".

We had a birthday party for her on Sunday. All the Arizona family came by to have some fun, as did Marya from Globe with her kids Jackson and Bianca, and neighbor Nicole with her kids Brianna and Avery.

The kids ran around for a couple of hours while everybody visited and hung out. It was a perfect day, weather-wise, with clear blue skies and a high of about 76.

We got out the parachute and played for a little while, played "Pin the flower on Dora's bracelet", and kids took turns on the Plasmacar (as did Uncle Jeff and Uncle Ted) and just generally ran around like crazy little kids. Jack befriended Bianca and Jackson, Kelsey ran the show like usual, and Marley was just her sweet, little self and participated wherever she saw an opportunity. Elliot just took it all in and had one heck of a time.

Kate did her typical hard work in preparing for the party. We had the regular snacks out and ready to go. Raspberry chipotle on cream cheese, fresh fruit, cheese puffs, etc... When it came time to eat we had turkey burgers, a chicken caesar pasta salad and watermelon. Then, of course we had the birthday cake, a chocolate number with an awesome Cool Whip-chocolate pudding frosting. Way better than regular frosting if you ask me.

The main event, like always, was the unwrapping of gifts, and Elliot made out like a bandit. She's very fortunate to have a kind and loving family and friends. She got a Barbie phone that actually says her name AND names of her friends, and even "knows" her favorite foods and colors. She got a "Bug" tent to hang out in, a little golf set, some awesome clothes, a Strawberry Shortcake doll, a mini-trampoline like they have at babysitter Diane's, a Big Sister Dora, a jewelry box, a new computer game, a necklace. Grandma Mary even got her a personal Bounce House for when she's over at her house!

Well, it was a wonderful day and we thank everyone that came out for their well-wishes and gifts and good company.

Thanks for reading and check back soon!!!

FABULOUS? Yep.

A cool, crisp March night found a Fabulous Yep Nopes team hungry, with a #1 seed and with their eyes on the prize. They would still have to win three straight games for that to happen, however, and things took a negative turn early in game one at Snedigar Park in Chandler. Pitching stalwart and quiet team leader Ramon Rivera-Diaz suffered a painful dislocated shoulder charging into second base, attempting to stretch a single into a double. As paramedics set up a triage in the Nopes’ dugout, the distracted team re-concentrated their efforts and dispatched a woefully overmatched Richard Cranium squad, 31-7.

Game two found a 500 Club that would prove to be a tougher test. Clutch-hitting and some stellar defense allowed the Nopes to erase an early deficit and up the lead to nine by the time all was said and done, knocking off the feisty 500’s, 19-10.

It came time for game 3, the one for all the marbles, and this match-up was going to be the toughest yet. The Rip It Bombers came into the championship game having split the regular season with the Yep Nopes, their win being an emotional last-inning rally that propelled them to a 24-23 victory. A crafty, good-hitting team with deceptive speed, the Bombers made it known right off the bat that they were in it to win it, jumping out to an early lead.

The Nopes started slowly, partly due to nerves, but never got down. Playing for their fallen leader, the dugout became verbal, players urging their teammates to not get down and to focus. Starting off the 6th inning in an 11-4 hole, the Nopes knew it was now or never. Pat MacDonald walked early in the inning, bringing Jim Stringham to the plate. Stringham promptly hit a two-run moon shot that would serve as a catalyst for a furious rally that saw clutch hitting from every single spot in the line-up, catapulting them to a 14-11 advantage.

Defense was now at a premium and the Yep Nopes held up in this regard. They gave up a run in the bottom of the sixth but still held a two run lead as the final inning loomed. The top of the 7th saw three more very important runs tacked on with some more clutch hitting by a very determined Yep Nope ball club.

As they took the field in the bottom of the inning with a17-12 lead, the players could reflect on an up-and-down season and the adversity they’d dealt with that night, but realized there was a task at hand that needed to be accomplished. The Bombers were spent, however, getting two quick outs on fly balls to centerfield. The final play of the game saw a lazy fly ball sent over the 2nd baseman into short right center. As he’s done all year long, utility-man Brian Gorsuch charged hard, clinching the game with a sliding basket catch worthy of a Sportscenter “web-gem”.

As the teams shook hands and the fields began to clear, chants of “mustache, mustache” could be heard among the high-fives and congratulatory hollers. The Fabulous Yep Nopes had dug down deep, had played hard for a fallen teammate and had earned the right to call themselves “CHAMPIONS”.